Tuesday, April 5, 2011
So ya back? Good, dis be de time to talk. Don't inturrupt me now, look into de fire, drink ya watah, and relax, and for de love of de isles, don't inturrupt! Now, take a deep breath, you too readin' audience, and relax before we continue. Clear your mind, Sticks be takin' you wid him on a journey.
I been around Azeroth a few times. I seen de sun rise on many a mountain peak as I lie, wrapped in de shadows o' de night. I listen to de watah run tru valleys, smelled de beasts on de wind, and tasted de morning dew on me tusks. I killed monstas aplenty, big and small, all dangerous, and each one left someting. A cut on me left tusk from a raptah's horn, a scar from a scorpid's nasty tail. I've lost an eye to anodda hunter before, grew it back a week later, and payed her in kind. I don't tink she'll be growin' dat glowy silver eye again. Point o' all dis is, where I been, I hear de spirits.
De spirits are de Loa, and dey be wid us everywhere in de world. De orcs revere dem too, call dem de 'elements'. Dey speak o' Earth, Wind, Fire, Water, and Wild. Dis be a good way to sum up de spirits, as dere are indeed spirits o' de air, de earth, de fire, and da watah, but dey usually be based in de natural loa. Earth is to bear, air to de windserpent, fire to de Amani Dragonhawk, and watah to de seasnake. Wild though, dat's a tricky one to pin down. Where does an old troll begin? De wild is in you, in me, in da warchief, de shadowhunter, even in de humans an' night-elves. It's found in de tops of trees and de bottom of lakes, de hearts of volcanoes, and de shifting sands of Tanaris. It is life, from de lichens to de dragons, we all be subject to it. I hear dat de dragon, Alexstraza, be called de 'life binder'...she perhaps be de one who understands dis bettah den anyone, she be feelin' it, de life in all de creatures, de plants, the earth itself. Death, too, is a part o' de wild spirits.
At dis point you be askin' 'Sticks!' How can death be aparto'de wild, when you be sayin' de wild is life?'. You been listnin' to me? DON'T INTERRUPT! Now, death be apart of life like shadow is a part o' light. As one ends, de odda begins. Now, dis don't mean we die till we born, I'm not sayin' dat! But all life ends, and when it ends, it has to go somewhea. Dat somewhea, is to de spirits. Fo' de Darkspea, we go to Bwonsamdi, who guards de dead's spirits until de be ready to move on to de odda side. He be de one who gives de shadow-users dere powers, de warlocks, shadowhunters, and shadow priests. He hears de drums, smells de incense we burn, and he welcomes de dead wid open arms. De bodies are his to use as well. De bones are piled, de skulls collected, and he makes use of dem, weddah to make skeletal servents, or to put de souls o' his enemies in, I dunno. But he is dere, ready to accept us when de time comes to see what's on de odda side.
Now, de spirits not be universal. I can't go all de way to de far reaches o' bumscratch blade's edge in outland, and expect to summon up de spirits o' me ancestors on a whim, even wid' de right totems and rituals. Spirits are where de' belong. In de' isles, I can see Bwonsamdi, in Gurubashi, I can speak to de Razzashi raptor god, in Zul'Aman, Alkzikon de eagle hears me chant and smells de' incense. If I'm in Bumscratch Blade's Edge, I can call up de raptah, windserpent, and warpstalker, for dey be de gods of dat land. If de call be strong enough, and dere be enough history o' de spirits, dey can be called from afar. De Zaladi called Amani gods in Zul'Drak, because de Drakkari be a kind o' forest troll, dat's why forest and ice trolls be so big and ugly de same way.
De spirits surround us, dey in dat dew I taste, dat beast I smell, de wind dat carries de smell, de cool shadows o' de night, de mountain greeting de day, and de sun itself. All o' dem be spirits. So remember dat, next time ya dwarfs dig deep, ya elves explore too far into de secretes of magic, same for you goblins and gnomes. Dere' be more to de world den Titans and Old Gods, some tings be much olda, more primal, and dey often be ready to strike.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Now, I'm not saying dat hunters be bettah den de odda classes out dea, but dey certainly not up to ouwah standards. Aftah all, what odda class can fight at a range, bring der own tank, heal da tank, stealth into a battle, crowd-control, and still come out lookin' bettah den everybody else? Dat said, I've gotta soft spot for de shamans. Now, dis iddn't just because a VERY pretty troll lady who commands de elements gives me a good look every now and den (though I know she got de hots for me), but because dey help us out. Dey totems make us hardah, bettah, fastah, strongah, more den hour ouwah nevah, or whatevah dat means. Anyway, de Tuvaktulas dat's goin' down is dat some shaman friends o' mine have put up a podcast on de L2R blog, de be callin' it...Hold on, let me get mah best shaman voice...
STORM, EARTH, and FIRE.
So go check dem' out! I had a mage make a portal dere, it made him feel bettah, he's not much use odderwise when I'm around.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
You done? Zul'jin's eye dat was fast! Dere may be hope for ya yet! Okay, so, here's what we know: Zul'Gerub and Zul'Aman be opening again. Dis be a good ting, I'm a-tinking. De stories o' de trolls be bettah told, and we get to see some new beasties. I hear tell dere be a new raptor mount, I wonda if poor liddle Sticks'aka has anyting to do wid it...
Anyway, dere be dat, so we get to see more o' my people doin' what dey do best: killin' odda tings. Dat's all well and good, but what do hunters get out o' dis? As ting's are lookin', not too much.
- Our Explosive traps be gettin' a new look, to which I say: about damn time! I'm sick of droppin' down a poor troll's Flamestrike, and den watchin' it pulse in and out so you can only tell if it's workin' when you be watching ya enemies life tick away. Now if it could actually DO DAMAGE WORTHY of an EXPLOSION! Mebbe den I would get exited, but really, I gots little to complain about dere.
- Our special ability dat calls our pets to us, which somehow frees us from everyting our enemies trow at us, is gettin' a new look too. Meh, perhaps it'll be prettier, dat would be nice.
- Dat supah-doopah spinny move we do dat blocks attacks and deflects spells can be used widout a weapon. Now, dis is a nice liddle improvement for fightin' warriors and such, and definitely makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, though that may just be dat furry caterpillar I ate for lunch...
- Our pets no longa require trainin to match us right aftah we get dem. Now, dis needs some clarification. We STILL have to train our pets, but only if we be lowah in powa dan the best possible. If ya at de top pawah, ya need not worry. Some dummies (humans) like to measure dese powa's, and call dem 'levels'. Bah, a level is a floor of a hut or de difference in the tallness of a cliff, to level is to burn down said hut or knock down said cliff, Echutee, I got no idea what dem humans tinkin.
- We can now tame Hydras. Why? Because we got so good at our jobs, dat now we an tame tree beasties at once, provided dey all in de same place, I guess. I hope dey be as tough as crocalisks, like de used to be in Schoalazar, damn dat gold-fama for releasin' my poor liddle Voyvoda...
Monday, February 28, 2011
So, jawannaknowwhatIdo? Well, I'm a hunter by trade, profession, lifestyle, calling, creed, whathaveyou. I started out in de valley of trials, way in de southern canyons o' Durotar. It was dere, dat I killed mah first boar, ate mah first scorpid surprise, and learned da tools of mah trade. Since den, I been wandering de world, finding all de rarest beasties, and making dem mah own. I gotcha dinos, rhinos, snakeys, some mammals, and a couple odder tings I don' even know whatya call'em. Pretty soon, I be putting up pictures o' dem on my blog.
Some o' you be tinken' 'Sticks! How you be bloggin when all you got is a fire and some fish!' to which I be sayin' "You really askin' me dat bruddah? Der be mages poppin' all over de world in de blink of an eye, warriors stoppin' great balls o' fire wid nottin' on der arms but some bits of metal and leather been held togedder wit' string! Don't be daft mon, is de world we live in."
Now, if you be done askin' stupid questions, I kin tell ye why I'm bloggin' in de first place. It's because I speaks for dem who can't speak demselves, yes, de beasties. You evah hear about a devilsaur askin' for more food, or for a friendly discipliny priest to put a fancy bubble on dem? NO! BECAUSE DE CAN'T TALK! Jabbanobaddamadu mon, you really gotta lot to learn. Okay, dis be de start o' my lessons. Gotta have a name for dis... Huntin' wid da Beasts! No...wait...Kill Commandin' in da name of! Wait... I gots it! Focused Fire! Ya, dat's it. Dat's de name o' dis blogg, I worked it in as a title drop, so it's official. Ya, dis is Focused fire. I'm Sticks, your host, and de cookin's done, so let's enjoy our fish before we begin. You get de little one dat's all burnt on one side. Arikara gets de middle one.